Soul-Care™ Adoptive Parent Training
Frequently Asked Questions
What is provided in the cost of the training seminar?
- Soul-Care™ Therapeutic Curriculum and Training
- Soul-Care™ Therapeutic Resource Tools and Training (used in conjunction with the curriculum to accelerate attachment)
- Guided Interactive Curriculum Practice
- One (1) Journal specifically written for Soul-Care™ (description below)
- Feeling Identification Resource (a critical aid to help children attach to their emotions)
- “Let’s Imagine” (an illustrated book to help with suppressed memories as part of therapy)
Lunch is provided for purchase.
Why do registration fees vary with each seminar?
Seminar registration fees vary per location due to hard cost fluctuations, ie. venue, audio visual, etc.
Is there a payment plan for families with extenuating circumstances?
We are willing to work with couples to create a payment plan provided that the total cost of the seminar is paid prior to the day of seminar. For more information, please email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Why is it critically important for BOTH husband and wife to attend?
In order to successfully implement Soul-Care™ at home, both mother and father need to be consistent. Each parent plays an important and unique role that unlock the full benefits of this family oriented curriculum. Equal participation by both caregivers is essential.
Single parents or those in extenuating circumstances are encouraged to bring a support person to learn the curriculum and walk this journey with them.
What about step-parents?
Blended families create unique situations and challenges. It is highly beneficial for both sets of parents to attend. The consistency of implementation plays a major role in the success of this curriculum.
Why is Soul-Care™ Therapeutic Curriculum so valuable and unique?
Soul-Care™ Curriculum offers more than just information and advice. It helps parents learn how to apply its wisdom to their unique situations. It provides with concrete methods using tangible Therapeutic Resource Tools.
What are Soul-Care™ Therapeutic Resource Tools?
These tangible and concrete tools are used in conjunction with the curriculum and are proven to assist parents:
- Accelerate understanding of the root of a child/teens attachment issues that create negative responses and behaviors
- Equip parents to handle specific, unique challenges as they arise
- Provide individualized strategies that are easy to apply at a moment’s notice
- Incorporate mobile tools that can be used in any environment
What is the central goal of this adoptive parent training seminar?
This seminar aims to train parents how to create opportunities for their child to achieve healthy emotional attachments which lead to:
- Healing from trauma
- Family attachment
- Healthy relationships
- Realizing self-worth
- Future independence
- Modified behaviors
- Emotional connectedness to Christ
Is Attachment Disorder the same as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
Attachment disorder and RAD have similar negative behavioral characteristics. Attachment disorder can turn into RAD depending on the depth of trauma, detachment, rejection and abandonment.
RAD is a clinical diagnosis, and for the purposes of Soul-Care™ Curriculum and Seminars we use the term ‘attachment disorder’. Some children may have RAD but co-author, Missy Shaw, does not provide clinical diagnoses outside of a professional contract.
Soul-Care™ can be effectively used with kids who have been diagnosed with RAD. However, it may take longer and will need extreme consistency. Additional intervention(s) and professional resources may be necessary.
*See Mayo Clinic’s definition of RAD at the bottom of the page.
Will Soul-Care™ solve our issues or prevent future issues?
The consistent, committed use of Soul-Care™ Therapeutic Curriculum provides your child/teen with life tools and the ability to know when to use those tools to balance themselves emotionally. The converse response is likely to be manifested in inappropriate self-medication when faced with negative situations and life’s struggles. No human being is 100% balanced all of the time.
Why is this information critical if I am NOT experiencing any challenges with my adopted child/teen?
Research frequently shows how trauma can manifest itself if it is not addressed. It is important to understand trauma and how it affects adopted children and their families even if your child/teen is not currently experiencing challenges.
What creates trauma?
Trauma is created by painful experiences. Words or actions from people in a child/teen’s environment make a significant mark on a child as early as infancy. Neglect, abandonment, any type of abuse, and rejection are only a few of the examples of trauma experienced by adopted children.
For example, a child/teen who appears bonded to his/her parents and experiencing no trauma symptoms discovers that he/she did not make the basketball team. This can cause the child/teen to detach emotionally and act out. This occurs because deeply embedded feelings of rejection and abandonment can resurface and trigger negative self-medicating behaviors.
Why is it important to address attachment issues as soon as possible?
If children/teens cannot attach to their own emotions, they cannot attach to their families or friends. They likely will have difficulty attaching emotionally in all their future relationships, and most importantly, they will not be able to attach emotionally to the presence of God in their lives.
My child is 16. Is it too late to start this curriculum?
Start wherever you are! We are all encouraged to improve relationships with our spouses, children, and friends. Relationships that are important require work, and it is never too late to start.
Additionally, it is vital that teenagers break the negative cycles that past trauma has caused. Your teenager might marry and be a parent one day. What kind of spouse and parent will they be? Will they self-medicate and soothe their pain through drugs, alcohol, porn or other addictions? Give them the the chance to learn how to address their trauma in a healthy manner. Soul-Care™ provides the opportunity to help all children with their trauma regardless of their age and/or stage of development.
While teenagers have carried their brokenness longer, their brains are also more developed. It is possible that they grasp the therapeutic concepts faster than a younger child. Immediate results may not be evident, but in time, something will click and their healing journey will begin to accelerate.
Who will be at the training seminar?
Attendees will include other adoptive parents and caregivers. Co-authors, Missy and Deneen, will lead the journey.
How much interaction will be required with others?
Attendees will not be called on to answer questions. For a designated period, attendees will practice the Therapeutic Resource Tools in small group demonstrations in order to understand how they are used.
Will we be expected to tell our story publicly?
No, but there will be an opportunity to pose questions that will be addressed at the end of the seminar in a Q & A session.
Parents are able to share any part of their story as part of the registration process. It will remain confidential with Missy and Deneen to allow them to know what challenges are represented at a particular seminar. They will do their best to address these challenges at the seminar or in a subsequent Soul-Care™ monthly videos available to all attendees post-conference.
What are at least three outcomes I can expect from the training seminar?
- How to create opportunities for healthy patterns of progress for your child/teen
- How to create opportunities for cycles to be broken and healthy emotional attachments to begin for your child/teen and our family
- How to be armed with information and the tools to use that will provide consistent guidance in intentional ways which will get positive results
Will this training seminar address how our adoption has affected our marriage?
We will introduce the beginning elements of a companion piece being developed which addresses the common issues preset in the marriage relationship of couples who adopt. Too often the most vital relationship within the home is neglected resulting in consequences that will greatly affect the health of that family. Not only will this companion piece explore the roots of these issues, applicable best practices will be offered to build toward a vibrant future.
Will this training seminar be video taped?
This seminar will be videoed in order to provide attendees with an optional Flash Drive purchase after the seminar to revisit the information as needed.
Faces of attendees will not be shown in video.
What are “Soul-Chats”?
Missy and Deneen will provide monthly videos for one year to all seminar registrants. Soul-Talks will expand training on specific portions of the curriculum that were not covered in the Soul-Care™ Seminar due to time limitations. These videos also provide a source of encouragement and renewed hope for the journey.
Why is the included Journal so UNIQUE and important for my child?
This Journal was written by the First Soul-Care™ Graduate, whose pre-adoption trauma was triggered and detachment manifested itself in late elementary school. He and his parents began this counseling program when he was 13 years old, and he is now an emotionally well-adjusted college student who understands what he needs in order to stay balanced and whole. He has a passion for encouraging other kids in their adoption journey from brokenness to wholeness.
This Journal uses very intentional prompt questions on each page that go directly to the heart of the Soul-Care™ matter. The author is able to acknowledge these challenges as only one who walked through pain towards eventual healing can do. Some kids find it difficult to express events and emotions verbally, but may find it easier to do so when having the time to process through writing or drawing.
This journal is available in two versions:
- Children’s Drawing Journal suggested for ages 5+
- Student Writing Journal suggested for ages 10+, or younger students if they enjoy writing.
Parents will choose which journal is age appropriate for their child as part of their curriculum. Additional journals will be available for purchase.
About Co-Authors of Soul-Care™ Therapeutic Curriculum and Training
Missy Shaw is a licensed professional counselor who has been in private practice for over 18 years. Missy started out her professional career as a special education teacher focusing on behavior disorders and mental illness in children while working at the Psychiatric Hospital at Vanderbilt and in Metro Public Schools. For the past 15 years, Missy has focused her private practice on family issues and healing trauma. Missy has been happily married for 20 years and is the mom of two teenagers.
Deneen Turner is an adoptive parent and Co-Founder and President of HopeHouse International®. Over the last 29 years Deneen has been a leader among American organizations and churches in her work with orphan issues and orphan care missions. Her focus has been aiding Christian families in Eastern Europe to rescue orphans from orphanages by adopting them and raising them in their own country. Deneen and Mark have been married for 22 years and adopted their son from Ukraine in 1999.
*Reactive attachment disorder as defined by Mayo Clinic Staff:
Reactive attachment disorder is a rare but serious condition in which an infant or young child doesn’t establish healthy attachments with parents or caregivers. Reactive attachment disorder may develop if the child’s basic needs for comfort, affection and nurturing aren’t met and loving, caring, stable attachments with others are not established.
With treatment, children with reactive attachment disorder may develop more stable and healthy relationships with caregivers and others. Treatments for reactive attachment disorder include positive child and caregiver interactions, a stable, nurturing environment, psychological counseling, and parent or caregiver education.
Signs and symptoms may include:
- Withdrawal, fear, sadness or irritability that is not readily explained
- Sad and listless appearance
- Not seeking comfort or showing no response when comfort is given
- Failure to smile
- Watching others closely but not engaging in social interaction
- Failing to ask for support or assistance
- Failure to reach out when picked up
- No interest in playing peekaboo or other interactive games